Do these 5 things to become one of the worst parents. Guaranteed!

Never stop looking at your phone.

Because keeping on top of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram is much more important than paying attention to your child. Obvs.

Never talk to your child.

They’re so annoying, and never listen to you anyway, so what’s the point?

Never stop playing loud music all day.

Your child won’t listen to you, so why should you have to listen to them?

Instead, blast out your favourite songs at full volume, to drown out any irritating noises your child might be making.

Never read books to your child.

Isn’t that what school’s for? Let the teachers do all the work.

Never eat as a family.

Imagine the dull conversations, the bad table manners, the mess. Give your child a bowl of cereal and leave them alone while you go and watch TV instead.

So there you have it. A handy guide to being the worst parent. Let me know how it works for you!