Picture it: Valentine’s Day, in a Japanese primary school. A hapless English teacher (me) is interrupted by the class teacher, who is wielding a big jar of chocolates.

The class teacher proceeds to pass the chocolates around the room, inviting each child to take one. At this stage, the jar is too far away for me to see it in any detail. The children giggle as they each take one chocolate and pop them into their mouths.

Nothing wrong with that, I hear you say.

However, I didn’t know how to react when the jar of chocolate was finally offered to me. Upon closer inspection I could see that they were little chocolate cocks and boobs.

The children watched intently, to see which one I would take from the jar.

To be on the safe side, I ate one of each.