Oh no, not another homework craft project?

Yes. Yes, it is.

What was it this time, then?

One of my children had to make a model of a Tudor house.

A what now?

You know, a house from Tudor times.

Oh, like Henry VIII and that, from The Tudors?

Yes, just like that. But without the sex scenes.

I know I’m going to regret asking this, but how did you make this Tudor house?

I thought you’d never ask! Well, we needed two shoe boxes, lolly sticks, masking tape, black tape, glue, paint brushes and toilet paper.

Sorry, did you just say toilet paper? What was that for? To wipe your butt?

Normally, yes. But for this project we used it for a quick and easy version of papier-mâché.

Look at you with your fancy words. Can’t you just type “paper mache” like everyone else?

Oh alright: paper mache. Happy now?

That’s better. Thank you. 

Aren’t you going to let me finish explaining how we made it?

No. Just show your pictures. They’ll figure it out. 

Oh. Well thanks for your time.

No, no. Thanks for yours.