One child has lost two teeth this week.

Well, I say lost but what I actually mean is he kept twisting and tugging those teeth until he pulled them out.

So he hasn’t lost them at all. It was more like he performed dental surgery on  himself.

Without anaesthetic.

He put the teeth in a small glass dish next to his bed, ready for the tooth fairy to collect.

What he doesn’t know, of course, is that in our house I am the tooth fairy.

That’s right. I steal those teeth during the night and add them to a little jar full of his other teeth, which one day, I suppose, I will give to him, as some sort of macabre souvenir of his childhood.

When I was a boy I kept my teeth in a plastic egg.

I don’t know why the tooth fairy didn’t take them away. I still got money though. What were my parents thinking?

So how much money will my son expect to receive from the tooth fairy?

The going rate in our house is 80p for each tooth.

Yes, 80p.

Not a pound.

80p.

Always four twenty pence coins.

That may seem like an arbitrary amount, but 80p is how much these little guys cost.

You don’t know what they are?

They’re SuperZings and my kids LOVE them.

An individual SuperZing costs 80p, which luckily, is how much the tooth fairy pays out per tooth.

See, there’s method behind all this tooth fairy madness.

But what I wanna know is how much does the tooth fairy pay for teeth in your home?

I’ve heard of some kids receiving £5 per tooth, which sounds outrageous!

We’re sticking with 80p for as long as we can get away with it.