What’s been the highlight of this week, then?
Eating Cornish pasties.
Cornish pasties. They are a delicious pie from Cornwall, in South West England.
So are you telling me that you broke lockdown rules to drive all the way from Oxfordshire to Cornwall just to have lunch?
No, don’t be silly! I haven’t got time for that. I’m home schooling my two kids.
So, did you bake these so-called pastries then?
Pasties. Not pastries. They’re PASTIES!
Calm down. I’m only asking… so did you make them yourself, then?
No, no, no. I was craving them so I put a shout out on Twitter to see how I could get some delivered from Cornwall.
And how did that go? I didn’t know you had Twitter… you’re so high tech.
Of course I have Twitter! How inept do you think I am?
Well, if I had to put a figure on it, I’d say 87%.
Why? Were you expecting a higher level of inept?
Oh shut up. As I was saying, I put a shout out on Twitter about how to get Cornish pasties in Oxfordshire, and I succeeded!
This is getting boring now. Go on, then, do tell how you managed to get hold of a pasty.
Dawn French – yes, that comedy legend herself – recommended an online ordering service to me. She lives in Cornwall, you see…
Resorting to name dropping, now are we? Couldn’t you have just googled “how to buy Cornish pasties from Oxfordshire”?
Erm. Well, yes. I suppose I could have done that. But asking Dawn French, an actual Cornwall expert, seemed more fun.
Hmmm. So did Dawn French personally bake you some pasties?
No! She directed me to The Cornish Hamper Store and I ordered some. They arrive frozen, for you to cook at home. They are DELICIOUS and just the perfect comfort food that I was looking for.
Oh so that’s what they look like. I was expecting frosting, sprinkles, some jam…
Oh for goodness sake. They’re savoury. Like a pie.
I don’t do savoury. I like apple pie, cherry pie, pecan pie…
Fine. That means I get to eat all the Cornish pasties. Good bye.